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HBO Hard Knocks might distract the Steelers from not winning a playoff game in 7 years

Every Steelers fan’s worst nightmare came true on Monday when it was announced that the team would be featured on the in-season version of HBO’s Hard Knocks this year.

I thought it was just a training camp production, but like everything else, we will now have spin-offs of the long-running docuseries. I believe there will also be a postseason version, but I’m not exactly sure. (I forgot my friend’s password for Max, so what does it matter?)

Anyway, it won’t just be the Steelers, however. No, the entire AFC North Division will star in the in-season version. That’s right, the Browns, Bengals and Ravens will be just as distracted when those HBO cameras, producers and directors invade their facilities to give us an inside scoop as these teams gear up for the postseason…if they’re even in contention, that is.

The Steelers for sure won’t be. Why? Because they’ll be way too distracted by those HBO cameras, producers and directors to concentrate on football learnin’. And that’s why I opened this article the way I did. To be clear, the Steelers appearing on HBO’s Hard Knocks isn’t every fan’s worst nightmare. However, there has always been a vocal minority of fans who have lamented the possibility of Pittsburgh appearing on this show since worrying about it became a thing on social media about 10 years ago. Maybe you know the kind of fans I’m talking about. The ones who act as if they’re actual head coaches. You might think gaining insight during the season would be interesting. They think it would be a distraction. And that would track, because while you might be entertained by a player making a TikTok video, that kind of fan would think it’s a distraction. You might enjoy Cam Heyward’s podcast, but that fan thinks the podcast is distracting him from concentrating on football.

That’s right, the dreaded distraction.

Oh no, the Steelers appearing on Hard Knocks might cause them not to win a playoff game this year. Sure, they haven’t won one in seven seasons, but let’s blame an HBO docuseries.

Hard Knocks might prevent the Steelers from winning the AFC North. Sure, they’ve only won the division once since 2017, but let’s fear that HBO docuseries.

What if the Steelers start 11-0? Those HBO cameras, producers and directors might distract them into collapsing down the stretch and then losing a home game to the Browns on Wildcard Weekend.

What if Pittsburgh has a 2.5-game lead in the division with six weeks to go, but those HBO cameras, producers and directors distract the players so much that the lead is blown and the postseason is missed entirely?

What if those HBO cameras, producers and directors distract Mike Tomlin and cause him to hire Matt Canada as his offensive coordinator?

I have always dreaded the possibility of the Steelers’ offense averaging 17.9 points per game, and that might become a reality after appearing on Hard Knocks this season.

What if Hard Knocks distracts Russell Wilson into throwing just 13 touchdowns during the regular season?

What if Hard Knocks distracts Pittsburgh’s totally elite defense so much that it finishes in the middle of the pack in total yards?

What if Hard Knocks causes the Steelers to lose back-to-back home games to two-win teams in December?

I can go on, but you get it. I’m a smarty-pants.

The Steelers appearing on Hard Knocks won’t distract them from doing whatever it is they were going to do without those HBO cameras, producers and directors around to chronicle it.

Finally, I know what you’re going to say: “The Steelers should win something first before they show off for these Hard Knocks cameras, producers and directors!” I’m sorry, but I believe you’re looking for the “So, We’re Just Going to Accept Mediocrity?” Department. That’s right down the hall.


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